gristle days of yore

back in the day i used to play guitar for throbbing gristle. we used to drink vimto and cough mixture huff a tube of glue then do a 4 hour set. the lead singer used to pee on the drummer half way through and the bassist would hump his amp. i hated the band but the songs where good.

Jonny Butter

Death is a funny old thing isn't it. Punk died, probably as soon as a journalist decided to give it a name and decided it was a trend. Which in turn made it something ultimately cool and untouchable. We look back on the good ol days of punk when people didn't care and there was no future to be had. Like its some distant light that shines above us keeping our thoughts anti establishment. I remember that next door neighbour who would come round for a cup of tea and even though he was a mean old man that beat his dog and once made a comment about my back being hot that still creeps me out, I still think back to those days and smile and hope he's all right wherever he is. Thats death isn't it, making you look back through your memory glasses and seeing everything rosey coloured.
John Lydon didn't die and look at him now. I just saw him on a billboard advertising butter. He's on my telly shouting in his old man punk way about how great butter is. John Lydon needed to die. Sorry it's true. We'd look back and go wow Johnny Rotten what a nutter ate a million tabs of tamazipan drank a gallon of vodka then through himself in front of a bagel van. Brilliant, Punk to the end. No he's gonna die slow and sold out making money from selling butter and slippers and no one gives a shit. He's won't be remembered because he's still alive. What a dick.




Afterthought.
Fuck it John can do what he wants whats more punk than that. He's making his ends meet by putting in face time for a commercial. He probably got payed shit loads for that and blatantly didn't have to do that much for it. Punk is what punk is. Who cares I don't anymore.

work it out

On the front page of the sun the other day there was a 15 year old girl that weighed 33 stone. The article showed that everyday this girl ate two loafs of bread, one chocolate cake, 2 litres of coke, 6 packets of crisps and 3000 mars bars. Sorry I exaggerate, 5 packets of crisps. Her excuse was that she comfort ate because she was depressed about being...wait for it...overwieght. She needs help, food is apparently like heroin to her. The girl is in a bad way and mum and dad don't know what to do.
I know what to do. Shut the fucking fridge door. Close your cupboards and get that girl walking everywhere. Simple don't give her the two loafs of bread and limit the chocolate cake. It's not rocket science, I'm not cracking a code here. It's so simple any one could work it out. Stop the fat girl from eating.

At least this girl is trying...

Who's the biggest...

Some people talk a good game, some people can come across as the roughest or the wildest or whatever. I believe Bill is that guy. Don't believe me, you tell him. He dont give a fuck, "toe to toe or shoulder to nut". This is probably the most dangerous man ever to walk the earth. You cant touch him, he's a three foot six cyclops with absolutely nothing to lose. There's a description of 'O-Dog' in BoyzInThaHood that protrays him as 'A young, poor, black man that don't give a fuck' and this therefore makes him really dangerous. My man Bill here is like O-Dog but three foot smaller and lacking in depth perception. He is officially crazymentalshits. His whole life is like one big insane seizure. Get the fuck away from the midget.

GGjesuschristthatsmessedup

And while we're on it what the fuck is your dad playing at?

whats your mum doing?

engrish

Young, Japanese and ready to go into the western world and see what that strange culture can can offer you? Take my advice and learn these key phrases, remember its dangerous out there.